Eleni, I had to stop reading this three times because it felt like you were describing my childhood, and I kept getting chills…That line about becoming “the barometer of the family”! Oh my god, yes. I remember being maybe seven and already knowing exactly which footsteps on the stairs meant I needed to disappear into my room, you know? And the praise thing, “so mature for your age.” I used to think that was a compliment until I realized I never got to be a kid. But what got me was when you said, “Who’s attuning to you?” Because I swear, I’ve been asking myself this exact question lately in my healing work. I can pick up on someone’s mood shift from across a room, but I’ll ignore my nervous system screaming at me for weeks. It’s wild how we become so good at reading everyone else that we forget we have our signals. The physical part, that description of walking around in “soaked, borrowed clothes,” made my chest tight because that’s exactly how it feels! Especially in crowded places or after being around people who are struggling. I’ll come home completely drained and not even realize I’ve been carrying their stuff all day. Have you found ways to…give back the emotions that aren’t yours? I’m still figuring out how to tell the difference between my anxiety and someone else’s if that makes sense. This whole post is just…it’s everything I’ve been trying to explain to people about what this experience is actually like. 💛
It’s heartbreaking how early some of us had to become “emotional weather reporters,” constantly forecasting other people’s moods just to feel safe. Yes, that phrase, “so mature for your age”…it does sound like praise, but it’s often just the polite way of saying you had no choice but to grow up too fast. I'm so glad we're opening this conversation here, so many of us are just now finding the words for what we’ve felt our whole lives. It’s a slow unlearning. But awareness is already the start. Thank you so much Sly ☺️
Eleni, that phrase “slow unlearning” perfectly captures this healing process. Like we spent decades building these emotional survival skills and now we have to gently teach ourselves it’s safe to put them down. What I love most about this conversation is how it’s giving so many of us permission to finally name these experiences instead of just carrying them in silence. There’s something so powerful about realizing we weren’t broken. We were trying to survive in situations that required us to be tiny adults. Thank you for holding space for former “mature for our age” kids to process what that cost us, finally. This kind of dialogue is precisely what healing communities should look like. ☺️💛
Julie thank you, you’re absolutely right, sometimes it feels like we’re emotionally bilingual, picking up on layers that aren’t even spoken. It’s a gift and a weight. Glad this resonated with you 🤍
A big part of it, yes Sara, beautiful, but exhausting. Sometimes just feeling less sounds like a luxury, right? I feel you, and the only thing we can learn is to be gentle with ourselves.
Thank you so much, Jocelyn. That means so much, the fact that my words resonate with so many people, and you. Would love to know, what part of it felt most familiar to you? 🤍
Eleeeniiiii!! I was just having a moment about how I feel so sad about the lack of reciprocity in my relationships, and how I feel like I’m holding others, but “who’s attuning to me”? Not many, and it’s tiresome to do so much of it alone.
It’s exhausting to hold space for others when it rarely comes back your way. You deserve reciprocity honey. You deserve to be held too. I see you. I’m so glad this found you today. 😊
Eleni, I had to stop reading this three times because it felt like you were describing my childhood, and I kept getting chills…That line about becoming “the barometer of the family”! Oh my god, yes. I remember being maybe seven and already knowing exactly which footsteps on the stairs meant I needed to disappear into my room, you know? And the praise thing, “so mature for your age.” I used to think that was a compliment until I realized I never got to be a kid. But what got me was when you said, “Who’s attuning to you?” Because I swear, I’ve been asking myself this exact question lately in my healing work. I can pick up on someone’s mood shift from across a room, but I’ll ignore my nervous system screaming at me for weeks. It’s wild how we become so good at reading everyone else that we forget we have our signals. The physical part, that description of walking around in “soaked, borrowed clothes,” made my chest tight because that’s exactly how it feels! Especially in crowded places or after being around people who are struggling. I’ll come home completely drained and not even realize I’ve been carrying their stuff all day. Have you found ways to…give back the emotions that aren’t yours? I’m still figuring out how to tell the difference between my anxiety and someone else’s if that makes sense. This whole post is just…it’s everything I’ve been trying to explain to people about what this experience is actually like. 💛
It’s heartbreaking how early some of us had to become “emotional weather reporters,” constantly forecasting other people’s moods just to feel safe. Yes, that phrase, “so mature for your age”…it does sound like praise, but it’s often just the polite way of saying you had no choice but to grow up too fast. I'm so glad we're opening this conversation here, so many of us are just now finding the words for what we’ve felt our whole lives. It’s a slow unlearning. But awareness is already the start. Thank you so much Sly ☺️
Eleni, that phrase “slow unlearning” perfectly captures this healing process. Like we spent decades building these emotional survival skills and now we have to gently teach ourselves it’s safe to put them down. What I love most about this conversation is how it’s giving so many of us permission to finally name these experiences instead of just carrying them in silence. There’s something so powerful about realizing we weren’t broken. We were trying to survive in situations that required us to be tiny adults. Thank you for holding space for former “mature for our age” kids to process what that cost us, finally. This kind of dialogue is precisely what healing communities should look like. ☺️💛
"the one who rarely feels understood in return." Oh, how do I identify with so much of this post!
HSPs often speak the unsaid, hold the unseen, and yet feel invisible themselves.
How would it feel to be understood without having to over-explain?
So glad it resonates Moorea! 😊
So poetic and true! Those mirror neurons sure do pack a punch for HSPs and ASDs 🤪
Julie thank you, you’re absolutely right, sometimes it feels like we’re emotionally bilingual, picking up on layers that aren’t even spoken. It’s a gift and a weight. Glad this resonated with you 🤍
Its exhausting
A big part of it, yes Sara, beautiful, but exhausting. Sometimes just feeling less sounds like a luxury, right? I feel you, and the only thing we can learn is to be gentle with ourselves.
Such a stunning description of the highly sensitive person's experience. 🙏💞
Thank you so much, Jocelyn. That means so much, the fact that my words resonate with so many people, and you. Would love to know, what part of it felt most familiar to you? 🤍
Eleeeniiiii!! I was just having a moment about how I feel so sad about the lack of reciprocity in my relationships, and how I feel like I’m holding others, but “who’s attuning to me”? Not many, and it’s tiresome to do so much of it alone.
Thank you for seeing me.😭❤️
It’s exhausting to hold space for others when it rarely comes back your way. You deserve reciprocity honey. You deserve to be held too. I see you. I’m so glad this found you today. 😊
Sometimes it feels like we keep each other afloat with our articles. Keep writing ❤️
Thank you so much, it means the world 🤍
“Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end.” TL Martin, Dancing in the Dark
Beautiful Jean! Depth can’t be rushed, and not everyone is meant to meet us there. 🤍