The line about 'trauma dressed up as hyper-independence' hit me like a gentle punch to the chest. I've been calling my disappearing act 'self-reliance' for years, not realizing I was just protecting myself from feeling too much. Thank you for naming what I couldn't, Eleni.
It is hard to name, but it feels like such a relief when someone does, like you did in this piece. It’s like your words offered a quiet doorway back to myself, and I’m grateful.
"The currency of conditional love." I was raised that way, sadly. Succeed and you are loved (or receive some sort of a version of love). Fail and you will be punished somehow. So teaching my brain to receive care before doing is really something I’ve got to practice more.
The line about 'trauma dressed up as hyper-independence' hit me like a gentle punch to the chest. I've been calling my disappearing act 'self-reliance' for years, not realizing I was just protecting myself from feeling too much. Thank you for naming what I couldn't, Eleni.
Naming it is hard, and yet so many of us have been silently living it. Thank you for your kind words 😊
It is hard to name, but it feels like such a relief when someone does, like you did in this piece. It’s like your words offered a quiet doorway back to myself, and I’m grateful.
So good, ER!!
Thanks Kevin!
"The currency of conditional love." I was raised that way, sadly. Succeed and you are loved (or receive some sort of a version of love). Fail and you will be punished somehow. So teaching my brain to receive care before doing is really something I’ve got to practice more.
I think so many of us were raised with that same silent contract, Stephanie, love earned through achievement.
Our parents did the best they could with the tools they had, but most weren’t taught how to model failure, repair, or unconditional safety.
Relearning how to receive care just for being is a daily, tender practice, and we owe it to ourselves! Thank you so much for sharing your experience 😊